There it is....

Well I had two successes today.. STILL soda free!! And I didn't snack at all! I only stuck to my meals and it felt great to finally get through a day without food controlling me.

I am still in that "funk" and right now have a lot of my mind that has nothing to do with my weight or food or exercising. To top things off I looked at my pay check today and found that they never put through my raise I was getting in September. I have been shorting myself money but not looking at my check each week, because it's direct deposit. I thought I had all of my paychecks saved but did some cleaning Sunday night and threw them all away when I really meant to keep them. On top of this I am confused about school and what to do with my life. I am also struggling with not seeing my boyfriend during the week, he works 2nd shift but works on trucks and they have to finish before they can go out the next day. He gets home anywhere between 1-4am.

I am to tired to talk with him or even have a conversation that last more then 30 seconds and consists of more then a couple grunts, a hug and a kiss. It's been extremely hard coming home to an empty place, cooking and eating alone. Don't get me wrong there are some nights where I am happy that I can get some alone time, but I would only want that once every couple weeks.

We have both made the decision to work as much as possible, make the money we need and enjoy life when we are together. But it's hard to do that when most of the time we spend together is trying to catch up on sleep and getting ourselves ready for the up coming week.

I guess I have lost myself in all the stress, I am a natural worrier (blame my mother) and have let myself get sucked in by it all.

Tonight picture is something I often look for... my collar bone! Inside that circle is the very thing I define being "thin" with... the showing of my collar bone, LOVE IT!